Image above: a praying mantis that appeared right near the handle of the back door to the mental health facility that I stayed in during part of 2017. It was past midnight and I had just stepped out to have a cigarette alone in the night, or at least I thought. The Carl Jung quote is there because I love his theories and ideas, particularly about synchronicity and the concept of meaningful coincidence. -------------------- What does it mean to be in psychosis? Usually it’s a combination of things that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) would call “delusions”, “ideas [...]
I drew the image above during an art therapy class. The theme was "Me as a Tree". There had been some serious bushfires in Victoria during 2019/2020, and Covid-19 had not quite hit the headlines. This is a post sharing some of the stuff I've created over the years. I really think that having some sort of healthy outlet is a great way of working towards recovery and I guess this is all a part of mine. I'm okay "As the sun comes up for each new day, I remind myself that I'm okay". [...]
I feel good. Not in a James Brown kinda way, just "good". I am content with life at the moment, feeling inspired to be creative in a variety of ways and enjoying my own company. This is the first time in many years -- so many I have lost count -- that I have felt this way. Because I have had the diagnosis of "schizoaffective disorder" offered to me and have experienced five separate episodes of psychosis, as well as long depressive patches too numerous to count, this feels foreign. Here I am, cruising along thinking "things are pretty [...]
I was crying. It’s a full moon, my period has decided to synchronise with it, I’m tired and forgot to take my meds. Anyway, so here I am crying and The Smiths are playing on my TV. Even better. I distinctly asked my guides to show me something joyous. Next thing I’m talking to my friend via messenger (did I mention it was 5am?) and she sends me a YouTube link to a short film she has made. It’s called ‘Wind’. So we chatted some more and I continued to listen to my 80’s mix (randomly put together by Apple [...]
Eleanor Longden's recovery story is an inspiration. It took many years of challenging interactions with the medical system, much courage and tenacity to get to a point of having overcome her diagnosis of 'schizophrenia'. Her story tells us that we CAN recover and lead meaningful lives, in spite of our diagnoses.
As I thought of updating this page after nearly a year has passed, I went to retrieve my laptop and as I stood up, a small feather floated to the ground in front of me. If that isn't synchronicity, then I don't know what is. I can think of a few choice words to describe what is medically known as a “psychotic state”. So I’ll skip those and use one: FRIGHTENING. There are also words like “dreamlike”, “surreal” and “euphoric” that go some way to describe it, however, these alone don’t really cut it. Frightening I thought I was going [...]
I was 21 years old, 25 years ago when this photo was taken. It was a selfie (back before that was even a thing and digital photography) that I took whilst in the recovery process of a psychotic episode in 1994. I think at this point I had stopped taking the meds (Stellazine and/or Melaril) which were pretty heavy duty at the time but rarely get used now. First generation antipsychotics. I had spent 6-weeks in a psych ward and got out perhaps a couple of weeks prior. I think I look and know I felt very lost at the [...]